


Three More Trucks

by orphan_account



Series: Back of Trucks [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-11-26 13:51:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the whole joking and fun was put to an end by the trolls being found out, they are moved off to a place where they will be watched intensley. But will they cope with being trapped like mice in a cage with no weaknesses?</p><p>(A lot like living in Big Brother or something? Just no challenges, lots of the things and stuff though)</p><p>Follow on story of The Back of a Truck. You probably need to read that before this one.</p><p>(I think I'm gonna have to orphan this work ;~;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

After a long and arduous journey the vans finally stopped, the doors being unlocked and opened and the sunlight pouring through. Some of the Trolls had fallen asleep while on the drive, only waking up just then at the noise. Karkat covered his eyes, blocking them from the sun as he looked about, it was like a prison they were in… fences with barbed wire at the top squared off a massive area of desert like land while a large white square building with no windows stood in the centre. Men with guns were standing everywhere, all watching the vans as the Trolls left them, the humans soon following over to them.

“OK, WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE?” Leah glared at Karkat who looked about him in wonder.

“how do you think I should know?” He growled and Nepeta grappled with his arm, much to his dislike but he coped with it. Mr Marshal soon came forward to them standing proud like usual.

“Ok, we are at our secret facility. We are only asking for you to live here like you normally would… er… in your universe.” Karkat snarled.

“WELL FUCKING GREAT! WE ARE LAB RATS NOW! WE ARE FUCKING LIVING BEINGS YOU FOOL!” He was not amused at this outburst. “ALL WE WANT IS TO GO BACK TO OUR HOMES WITHOUT BEING DISECTED THANK YOU VERY MUCH!”

“We will not harm you if you do not harm us.” Karkat growled but Nepeta stopped him from fighting Mr Marshal. “At most we will get x-rays of your skeletal structure, we are curious about your species…” Karkat was not happy.

“HOW ABOUT I JUST GET YOU TO TALK TO MY FUCKING ANCESTOR WHILE WE ARE AT IT? HE WILL BE HAPPY TO GIVE YOU A SERMON! HE ALWAYS IS HAPPY TO TALK!” The man raised an eyebrow.

“Where is your ancestor then?” Karkat gasped in disbelief.

“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? YOU WANT TO TALK TO KANKRI? WELL… SHIT. HE’S IN HIS STUPID BUBBLE I BET!”

“’bubble?’”

“YEAH, HIS FUCKING DREAM BUBBLE!”

“Where is his dream bubble?” Karkat flailed his free arm about in aggravation.

“IN YOUR FUCKING DREAMS DIPSHIT! WHERE THE FUCK ELSE?”

“Do not speak to me like that!” Karkat glared at him dangerously.

“I FUCKING TALK TO EVERYONE LIKE THIS! EVEN NEPETA!” She gave a little nod.

“He does, and it’s pawsitively annoying…” Karkat snarled at her and she hissed back.

“I AM NOT ANNYOING!”

“Maybe not in your eyes but in ours you are!”

“MAYBE YOU SHOULD OPEN YOUR EYES THEN!”

“My eyes are already open stupid! Or are you blind?”

“HEY! FUCK YOU!”

“You already did you asshole! Wait, woops…” Now everyone stared at them, Nepeta was blushed deeply and hid her face into Karkat’s chest as he wrapped her arms about her. He kept a straight face.

“w8, you and Nep pailed?” Karkat growled at Vriska.

“SHUT IT!” She smirked and chuckled.

“You really did! Hahahahahahahaha! I can’t beliiiiiiiieeeeeeeeve you two!” Sollux couldn’t help but chuckle himself. Nepeta tried to hide further into Karkat and he rested his head on top of hers, whispering into her ear.

“Calm down ok? Just calm down…” Nepeta shuddered before giving a slow nod and gently prying herself away from him, but he held his arms about her still.

“I’m ok.” She was still blushing bright olive though and Karkat pressed his lips on her forehead before letting her out of his arms. Karkat returned his glare at Mr Marshal, ignoring the shocked Trolls.

“OK SHITLORD, WHAT ARE WE DOING AND WHERE ARE WE GOING FROM HERE?” He frowned.

“My name is Mr Marshal, and you will be heading into the building to be cleaned then placed in your own home.” Karkat groaned.

“I AIN’T GETTING NAKED INFRONT OF NOBODY!”

“I never said anything about doing such a thing; you are just to clean yourself in one of the showers. We have placed a non-toxic chemical which will clean your skin and put it back to its normal colour.” Karkat gave a grumble before staring hard at him.

‘WHAT ‘HOME’ DO WE GET?”

“You will all live in the same house as each other; you will be restrained to the confines of the building unless we call upon you. There are cameras placed all around the house that will survey you as he study and learn from your species.”

“DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING LOOK AT OUR DREAMS TOO DIPSHIT?”

“Actually, we plan on doing so.”

“WELL FUCK YOU TOO!” He frowned and Karkat turned to the others. “YOU GOT THAT ALL?” They gave a little nod and some murmured ‘yes’ or ‘yeah’. “THEN FUCKING GET MOVING!” Some were quickly moving away, others glaring at Krakat for a moment before walking to the building. Karkat walked at the end of the group, John came back to see him with a big smile.

“Hey, it’s really nice to meet you Karkat, I thought it would be ages till I could me my old friend!” Karkat growled.

“LOOK SHIT HEAD, I REALLY HAVE NO CLUE WHO YOU REALLY ARE. I NEVER HAD ANY CONVERSATIONS WITH ANY OF YOU HUMANS, OK? ALL I KNOW IS WHAT I’VE READ FROM HOMESTUCK SO FAR.” John raised an eyebrow. Jasmine had heard this and had fallen back, joining them to explain to the confused John.

“They were transportalized before the game began.” He gave a nod before falling silent, obviously missing the Karkat he knew. The current Karkat gave a loud groan and walked faster, getting away from the two. Terezi was instantly talking to Dave and using him as a guide, the douche wasn’t caring that much about it, just walking on and barely noticing Terezi really. Eridan wasn’t impressed. Rose had begun bothering Kanaya who was ok with chatting to her while Jade just walked on.

They were soon to arrive at two large metal doors; Mr Marshal came before them and pressed in some codes on the pad to the wall beside the door. Inside it was still all white, a large corridor went down the middle with doors branching to the sides. It was too much white.

“WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO CLEAN IN HERE?” Mr Marshal frowned.

“It needs to be so it doesn’t contaminate our experiments.” Nepeta wasn’t scared, she was excited at this new place. She gave a squeal before racing up the hall way. Karkat snarled and went to go after her.

“NEPETA! GET YOUR FUCKING CAT ASS BACK HERE!” She wasn’t listening and he groaned before turning to the others. “EQUIUS! GO FETCH YOUR DARN MOIRAIL BEFORE SHE GETS INTO TROUBLE!” He gave a little nod before pushing out from behind Gamzee and Tavros and racing off after the young Troll who peered in all the windows she could before screeching in annoyance at Equius picking her up and tossing her onto his shoulder as he returned to the others.

Nepeta hissed and smacked the giant Troll on the back but it didn’t move him at all, she soon gave up and dangled there as she returned to the group.

“NEPETA! YOU FUCKING ASS! DON’T DO THAT!” She hissed at him as Equius turned, walking while Nepeta faced Karkat.

“I can do whatefur I want!”

“NOT IF I SAY OTHERWISE!”

“Ragh! You can’t clawtrol me!”

“NEPETA…” It was low and harsh, warning her not to carry on and she gave a frown and a huff, whacking Equius over the back again. Karkat gave a smirk at this. A question soon began pestering his mind, he paused, glancing about as they still walked before walked up to beside Mr Marshal. He barely noticed Karkat was there till he spoke.

“OK, TELL ME, HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA SEE OUR DREAMS?” He thought for a few moments before answering.

“We will monitor your brain with scanners and systems while you sleep, intercepting the sense respondents that head to your memory. In other words, we will be able to be like we are you, hearing, seeing, feeling, tasting the things you do.” He scoffed at this.

“AND WHY DO YOU THINK WE WILL LET YOU DO THIS FREELY?” He gave something close to a smirk and glanced down to Karkat while he rounded a corner and stopped before a door.

“You have no choice, the monitors are all over the house.” Karkat growled and watched as Mr Marshal tapped in a few things to a key pad beside the door and it soon swung open, revealing a maroon walled corridor with wooden floor, there were three doors on the right of it while a stair case climbed up the other.

Nepeta quickly bounced inside and opened up the first door on the right. it was a laundry, just filled with a washing machine and a dryer while a sink and washing basket lay on the opposite wall. Nepeta pulled back out and allowed the others to look while opening the second door.

It was a bathroom, there was a basin and a mirror right in front with two doors on either sides. She pulled open the door to her left first, revealing two cubicles for showers, one left and right and she pulled back out, checking the other door and finding it the same as the other one except with toilets.

Nepeta jumped out of the room, floundering past the others and tearing the third door open and quickly closing it as she found it to be of the same lay out as the second one. She gave a grin and raced to the end of the hallway, finding herself in a large living room.

The far wall to her right was painted a beep blue colour, being squared off with two book cases at either end of it and a large painting of a field filled with daisies hanging in the middle. Two matching blue lounges created a u shape with the larger of the two lining the white wall and the shorter one opposing one of the book cases.

The other book case was before a table that had eight chairs at it, there needs to be more if this was to accommodate all nine-teen of them. Karkat entered the living room and glanced to his left, spotting a marble topped kitchen with the usual appliances; dishwasher, fridge, oven and microwave. Next to it was a sliding door which he opened without hesitation.

He gave a little grin as he spotted the shelves of DVD’s lining the left and right while a large flat screen TV was based on the black painted wall, boxed in by a white roof, grey carpet and two large speakers. He grinned and walked over to the black leather couch, rubbing his hand over it and nodding before smiling wider at seeing beanbags stacked on top of each other in the corner. He soon passed along, looking at the DVD’s and the names, before he had even scanned past the first thirty he was pissed.

“WHERE ARE THE FUCKING ROMCOMS I LIKE!!!” Kanaya sighed.

“He Found The DVD’s Didn’t He?” Aradia glanced into the lounge room before pulling back out with a slow nod.

“Unf0rtunatley, he did.” Kanaya rubbed at her head.

“This Is Not Going To Turn Out Well…” Aradia nodded. Nepeta jumped at the sound of the door being closed, bumping into Eridan accidentally who frowned at her.

“Wwhatch it kitty cat!” She hissed at him.

“Don’t you go clawling me that fish face!” He turned and faced her fully.

“Not like you wwould do anyfin about it!” she hissed again and was about to leap at him when Equius held her back by the tail.

“Equius! Let me at him!” He shook his head.

“D --> it is not the time right now Nepeta.” She grumbled and folded her arms before staring at the ground in a pouty manner.

“Fine… sour puss…” Equius let her go and she quickly cheered back up as Eridan left; walking over to Terezi who had pulled a large, red bound book from the shelf and was licking it.

John had walked over to a door that was connected to the kitchen, swinging it open and flicking on a light switch inside. A white walled rectangular room was revealed, desks with chairs bordering all of the walls with computers before them. There was about seven computers on the longer walls with three computers at the door end and four at the other end. John pulled his head back out.

“Hey guys! Computers!” The Trolls quickly rushed away from what they were doing and into the room, grabbing the closest computer they could and turning them on. Karkat was the first to respond.

“THERE IS NO FUCKING TROLLIAN!” The others groaned in annoyance.

“They why don’t you just go downlo8d it again? >::::I” They soon were scanning about while the humans were mulling over to their own computers, sliding the chairs along the white marbled floor as they did so.

“hEY, gUYS, i FOUND A SITE TO GET IT.” The Trolls wheeled over to Tavros’ computer where it showed where to download Trollian and they quickly wheeled themselves away and downloaded it to their own computers. They had their own user and password for their accounts, stopping and blocking the humans from being able to use Trollian. Karkat had already installed it and opened it, he scanned about to about the time he had been transportalized to earth, looking just after it and seeing himself just doing normal stuff in his hive. He decided to troll himself.

 

\-- ALTERNATE UNIVERSE caracinoGenecist [AUCG] began trolling CURRENT caracinoGenecist [CCG] --

[AUCG] HEY NOOKSTAIN!

[CCG] WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT NOW?

[AUCG] I WANT TO KNOW HOW IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE YOU DID IT!

[CCG] DID FUCKING WHAT?

[AUCG] GOT BACK HOME!

[CCG] WHERE THE FUCK DID I GO?

[AUCG] STOP PLAYING STUPID SHIT HEAD!

[AUCG] HOW THE FUCK DID YOU OPEN ANOTHER PORTAL BACK TO OUR UNIVERSE FROM HERE?

[CCG] WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

[CCG] I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT PORTAL YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!

[AUCG] YOU SHOULD FUCKING KNOW!

[CCG] WELL, SORRY TO DISAPOINT YOU BUT…

[CCG] *I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!*

[AUCG] WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ACTING LIKE A DIPSHIT?

[CCG] YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS BEING A DIPSHIT!

[AUCG] WAIT… YOU DON’T REMEMBER ANYTHING?

[CCG] REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT FUCKING THING?

[AUCG] THE PORTAL TO THE OTHER UNIVERSE AND PLANET AND SHIT!

[CCG] WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT?

[AUCG] HOLY SHIT YOU DON’T KNOW!

[AUCG] I GOTTA TELL THE OTHERS NOT TO TALK TO THEIR FUTURE SELVES…

[CCG] WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

[CCG] TELL ME!!!

[AUCG] NO! FUCK! IT WILL COMPLICATE THINGS!

[CCG] FUCKING TELL ME YOU INCOMPETENT PRICK!

[AUCG!] ARGH!

[AUCG] WE FUCKING WERE TRANSPORTALISED TO EARTH YOU STUPID IDIOT!

[AUCG] DO YOU NOT FUCKING REMEMBER THAT BIG THING?

[CCG] WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON?

[AUCG] SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!

[AUCG] I HATE YOU TOO!

[CCG] FUCK YOU!

[AUCG] FUCK YOU TOO!

\-- ALTERNATE caracinoGenecist [AUCG] ceased trolling CURRENT caracinoGenecist [CCG] --


	2. Settle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey! I still got this thing! Still trying to figure out an ending though...

‘FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!” Everyone turned to Karkat who was mashing his hands over his keyboard as he typed in anger. Before finally stopping and leaning back into his chair, rubbing his hands over his face irritably.

“DON’T FUCKING TALK TO YOUR FUTURE SELF! THEY ARE IDIOTS AND DON’T FUCKING REMEMBER A THING!”

“What Are You Talking About Karkat?” He gave a groan before pulling his hands away and spinning in his chair to face the other Trolls.

“NONE OF THE FUCKING RETARDS REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT BEING TRANSPORTALISED TO EARTH YOU IDIOTS!” Vriska gave a sneer while Aradia came up with the answer.

“it’s 0bvi0us that s0mething must have rem0ved any mem0ries 0f this place when we transp0rtalize back t0 0ur universe.” Karkat grumbled.

“IT IS FUCKING PISSING ME OFF!” Though they were told, they must have forgotten, cameras were all around the room, watching them and listening to them talking while their computers were being monitored from another lab, but this time filled with humans, over fifty. Each one had the screen of either one of the kids and Trolls computers or of one of the cameras. There was at least one in every room, over five in the living room though. There were thermal cameras also to give privacy in the bathrooms. If they knew about that they would be too embarrassed to shower at all, but they didn’t know. The cameras were hidden extremely well, hiding behind a one way mirror or in a vase of flowers, or even hidden in the spine of a book. Though that wasn’t the only thing that was out of the ordinary in the house as they were to soon discover.

There was a click and a little squeak, which was the only warning they got before the voice of Mr Marshal boomed out around the house. “Can Leah, Aria and Jasmine please head to the front door.” There was a click and the speaker was off. The three girls looked at each other before rising from their seats and heading out of the room, through the kitchen and down the hallway. Just as they reached the door it clicked and swung open, revealing a woman with short, neat brown hair and black rimmed glasses. She wore a white lab coat over the top of a light blue blouse and a knee length brown skirt.

“Ok, please come this way.” She was soon off, walking down the large corridor while the three girls passed along behind her. They rounded a few corners and soon came to a black metal door which she typed in a code on the pad to the side before opening, ushering the kids inside before shutting the door behind them.

It was just like a business office, dark wooden walls with matching floor and a man sat at a desk of the same colour with his laptop which he shifted to the side to smile to the three girls.

“Leah, Jasmine, Aria, please. Come sit.” The three girls came over to the desk, sitting in the three chairs that were conveniently placed there for them. The man folded his arms over the desk and looked at them warmly, but there was a sharp dagger of cruelty and coldness in his eyes.

“My name is Allen Brookman. I am just going to ask you some questions. How is it you know so much about these… aliens?” Leah gave a little smirk.

“Half the world basically knows these Trolls, even their full names, blood colour, their ancestor, God Tier names and other such stuff.” He raised one of his bushy eyebrows at her, clasping his hands together and lifting them up as his elbows rested on the bench.

“Ok, six questions, first one; how do they know of them?” Jasmine was the one to answer this time.

“Homestuck. Search it on Google or just go to the website or wiki if you want to learn about them.” He paused before turning to his laptop and clicking some things, tapping some other things and his face was a bit amazed and shocked. He soon settled his face as he returned to the girls.

“Ok, second question; what is God Tier?” Leah gave a sigh, crossing her legs over and folding her arms as she sat on the black leather chairs. She closed her eyes for a moment as she recalled the things that were on the wiki before opening them again and leaning forward once more.

“The God Tiers are a series of the highest levels of power available to players of Sburb. Achieving God Tier status provides the beneficiary with godlike power in their respective aspect, channeled through their respective class. Reaching the God Tiers allows players to level further up even after reaching the top of their Echeladder, which is the limit under normal circumstances.  After attaining God Tier status, the player then begins to level up further, though the increase in power to a person already called a god is likely redundant. To reach the God Tiers, a player's dead or dying body must be present on his/her Quest Bed a process apparently referred to as taking a "legendary nap" by Consorts. The specific cause of death does not appear to be important and it may also be sufficient to be placed on a Quest Bed within a certain time span after death occurs.  It is unknown whether a player absolutely has to have gained all the levels of their Echeladder before proceeding with the ascension Each player has two Quest Beds, one located on their planet and the other at the center of Prospit or Derse's moon. In some cases there also appears to be a Skaian Quest Bed for each player. Consequently, there are also two different ways to ascend to God Tier level. The second method of ascension involves the other set of Quest Beds hidden deep within the center, or 'Crypt' of each kingdom's moon. When a dream self has taken on the role of a dead player, dying on this bed causes the dream self to resurrect as a God Tier player…”

She noticed that Allen wasn’t too entertained at the moment. She gave a sigh and face palmed.

“Ok, you die on a special bed in your real life or in your dreams and you become magical. You get your own symbol or speciality with your own ranking of it. It’s all on the wiki really…” He understood that part at least.

“Ok, third question; what are they capable of?” Jasmine looked at Leah who looked back before answering.

“Put it this way. If they wanted to leave, they would be gone by now and this place would be ashes.” He was a bit taken aback at this and gave a little laugh.

“I really doubt that possible-“

“Oh it is possible,” Leah interjected. “If they revolted they could just go in their dreams, get someone to kill them on their quest bed and then become God Tier and blow this place apart.” He leaned back in his chair, a smirk on his face.

“We would stop them before that happened I think.” Leah and Jasmine were about to say otherwise when he stopped them in their tracks. “Fourth question; what can we expect of them?” Leah started laughing.

“They are teenagers!”

“Oh? And that has to do with what?” She smiled sweetly at him, in a mocking manner of course!

“They will act like any hormonal teenager would. And they love their computers. Mind that Karkat and Nepeta are tight but they will fight all the time as will Tavros and Vriska and Sollux and Eridan.” He was satisfied with the answer.

“Fifth question; what things will they need to entertain themselves?”

“Well, Nepeta acts like a cat a lot, just give her cat stuff and she’s happy but she loves paintint. Kanaya likes sowing and has a motherly nature. Terezi likes trees. Equius would most likely like to build more robots, he likes milk and maybe some workout equipment? Gamzee likes Faygo and he needs, note this; NEEDS his sopor pie!” He looked at her oddly and she gave a sigh before answering his silent question. “You should be able to find how to make it online and if he doesn’t eat his pie, he goes mental and kills people.” Allen hesitated before nodding, giving a slight sign with his hand for her to continue. “Feferi is a seadweller and she prefers to be in water, ocean or river makes no difference for her. They sometimes make their own piles of things, Gamzee has a pile of bike horns, Eridan has a wand pile.” He gave a nod.

“I’ll see what I can do. We want to study how they live normally and these things are necessary.” Leah gave a nod herself and did a little smile.

“All on the wiki and in the comic.” He nodded.

“Marie will escort you back to the house.” And at the point the door opened and the woman who had brought them here stood in the frame. The girls gave Mr Brookman a nod before rising from their seats and leaving the room. The door was closed behind them and Marie led them back to the house. They were reluctant to return to their confines, but were soon greeted by Dave, John, Rose and Jade who were sitting on the lounges in the living room. John waved to them.

“Hey girls! Come join us! I swear those Trolls are literally addicted to those computers or something!” Leah and Jasmine gave a nod and Jasmine beat Leah to sitting on the couch beside Dave who didn’t seem to mind. Leah was left with sitting beside Rose while Aria was left with Jade.

“Hey, you never actually told us your names. Well, not properly at least.” The three girls nodded.

“I am Jasmine.”

“I am Aria.”

“My name is Leah.” The four nodded to them. John gave one of his wide smiles.

“Well, nice to meet you all, my name is John E-“

“Egbert. We know.” The three girls echoed. He was in a bit of shock and stared at them.

“Hey! How’d you know that?” The three exchanged knowing glances with each other.

“Well, it turns out you guys are famous of sorts.”

“Wow, really dude? How?” Jasmine gave a giggle to Dave.

“Weeeeell, you guys have been documented of sorts.” They were intrigued.

“Ok, soo… what do you know about us?”

“Everything.”

“Wow, everything?” Aria nodded to Jade who was beside her still.

“Everything, even your futures, literally!” Dave rubbed at the back of his neck and leaned back into the couch.

“Wow, ok, so what happens to us then?” Leah shook her head.

“We shouldn’t tell you, it might affect your future.”

“Well, if what Karkat said was true then we should forget it anyways.” Leah nodded, it made sense and she finally gave in.

“Well, good thing is; you all die.”

“Wait, what?” Dave leaned forward again

“What?! How?” Jade was in again

“How is that good?” Rose finally talked

“John is killed by Jack Noir. Jade is killed by an explosion. Rose and Dave are killed when exploding the Tumor.”

“You didn’t answer my question;” They turned to Rose who spoke again. “How is that good?”

“John is killed on his quest bed; he turned God Tier, the Heir of Breath.” John did a fist pump and grinned. Jasmine continued Leah’s talking.

“Jade was killed and Jack Noir became Bec Noir and-“

“Wait, Bec is my dog.” Jasmine nodded and continued.

“Your dog became a sprite and merged with Jack Noir to protect you. Anyway. Bec Noir still feels loyal to you and places you on your quest bed and you become the Witch of Space.”

“That sounds nice!” Leah nodded and continued.

“When Rose and Dave blew up the Tumor they were standing on their quest bed in the Crypt of Prospit. Rose becomes the Seer of Light while Dave becomes the Knight of Time.” They seemed pleased.

“Yeah, and Dave makes loads of alternate hims.” He raised an eyebrow.

“Well, who wouldn’t want more of themselves?”

“Karkat.” They gave a laugh but were soon cut short.

“I HEARD YOU, YOU FUCKERS!” The glanced at each other before laughing even harder and louder.


	3. Showers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smutty smut smut, nothing else to say.

“I Call Dibs On The Shower!” Kanaya raced out of the rooms and into the closest bathroom door and taking the shower on the right. Vriska soon racing out of the computer lab.

“I call this one the girls’ showers!” She cried as she entered the same bathroom as Kanaya had but taking the opposing shower.

“D --> I will be needing a shower too I guess by the 100%s of it…” Equius was out of his chair and walking to the showers, followed by Sollux.

“ii 2hould probably 2hower two…” As he went to turn down the hallway he was pulled back by Dave.

“I’m taking the shower Sol.” Sollux was not amused.

“Dude! No. ii fuckiing called iit fiir2t!” Dave walked on past and stole the last shower for the boys’ bathroom. Sollux gave a grumble and went back into the computer lab.

“No way am I efur having a shofur!” Karkat grinned as he thought of a way to bother Nepeta.

“OH REALLY?” She growled and nodded.

“Yes really!”

“I CAN CHANGE THAT I THINK!” She hissed at him.

“You better not do what I think you are purlaning!” Karkat chuckled to himself and rolled his chair over to hers.

“WHY? DOES THE LITTLE KITTY NOT LIKE WATER?” She hissed once more and tried to push him away, only for him to roll back over to her.

“Of course not! No cats like watfur!” Karkat pushed her aside from her computer and went to YouTube before showing her a video of a cat swimming in water. She shook her head. “That doesn’t purove me wrong!”

“OH YES IT DOES, THIS CAT LIKES WATER.”

“It is an abnormeowlity! Not meowning anything!” He chuckled.

“I THINK IT DOES THOUGH.”

“Well, um… I… no!... ugh!” She hissed and leapt at Karkat, having nothing else to shoot back at him in the meantime. She floored him to the tiled ground and he smirked as she tried to pin his shoulders, only to have her wrists caught in his hands as he rolled her to the side and pinned her hands above her head with her back on the ground. She writhed about and hissed in his face as he growled.

“Should we stop them sir?” The man at the monitor asked, the screen showing Nepeta and Karkat fighting and Allen Brookman shook his head.

“No, this is normal for them.” The man nodded and returned to surveying the Trolls.

Nepeta pushed a leg up to her chest and used it as she pried Karkat up and flipped him over onto his back with their hands still grabbing the other’s. Nepeta gasped for breath before rolling onto her belly, twisting Karkat onto his in doing so before she wrestled her hands free and leapt at him, sitting on his the back of a breathless Karkat. He grumbled and you spun round so that you were facing the same was he was and grinned.

“Do I win?” He frowned and rolled to the side, flipping her onto her side as he then quickly rolled the other way, leaving her on the ground as he pulled himself up and quickly pinned her to the ground. She hissed at him.

“NO, I WIN!” She growled and pushed him off with her hands before leaping at him and tackling him with her arms wrapped around his so that they were stuck to his side, useless. He frowned as he lay on the cold tiles with Nepeta pressed close to him.

“I win this time I think! No showfurs fur me!” A shower turned off and distracted them momentarily and that was all Karkat needed as he slid down and wriggled himself free of Nepeta’s grasp before grabbing her ankles and wrists together, one hand for each.

“NOPE! SHOWER FOR YOU KITTY!”

“KARKITTY! NO! I HATE SHOWFURS! NOOOO!” He didn’t relent as he carried the struggling Nepeta out of the computer lap, ignoring the odd glances from the Trolls then the humans as he passed through the kitchen and then from a grey skinned Kanaya who came out of the shower in her school clothes again. Karkat quickly locked Nepeta in the shower cubicle so she couldn’t flee the water before pulling her clothing off, much to her dislike, as she fought back.

He soon managed to get her undressed as he had himself and shoved her into the water. She hated it at first. “I hate you Karkitty! I hate watfur!”

“STOP YOUR WHINING AND GET CLEAN!” Vriska had no idea what to make of this, she just left the bathroom as quickly as she could after scrubbing her skin clean and returning it to its natural grey colour. Nepeta soon sat on the floor, frowning as the water poured over her head and Karkat groaned before pulling her to standing with difficulty and scrubbing her with the lotion that easily removed the tanning on their skin.

Nepeta soon sunk into Karkat’s arms, he held her there with a smile on his face as the warm water soaked over them and he scrubbed at her back with a sponge soaked in the mixture.

“I hate showfurs…”

“I KNOW, THAT IS THE TEN MILLIONTH TIME YOU HAVE SAID IT.” She giggled a tiny bit but soon stopped as she kissed into him. Yup, they had no idea of thermal cameras at all.

 

“)(-EY! Kanaya! Can you remake me my s)(irt? I just don’t reel like me wit)(out it!” Kanaya smiled warmly to Feferi and gave a nod.

“If I Find The Right Supplies I Will Do So.”

“Oh, wwell, me too please.”

“And ii wiill be neediing miine two!”

“I supp0se I will be needing mine als0.”

“How About I Just Make One For Everyone?” The other Trolls agreed. The shower soon turned off after Nepeta’s and Karkat’s turned on and Vriska followed out.

“I will go )(ave my s)(ower now I t)(ink.”

“No!” Feferi glanced at Vriska and stopped.

“W)(y not?” Vriska paused and they heard shouts. _‘I KNOW, THAT IS THE TEN MILLIONTH TIME YOU HAVE SAID IT.’_

“TH8’S why not.” Feferi gave a nod and grinned.

“T)(-EY AR-E AT IT AGAIN!”

“Oh do be quiiet ff.” She turned to Sollux with her hands on her hips. “ii do not want two lii2ten two kk and np go at iit, ok?”

“Well I t)(ink it’s cute!”

“Of cour2e you would.”

“AND W)(AT IS T)(AT SUPPOSED TO M-EAN?”

“you know what.”

“W------ELL! GLUB YOU TO!” He smirked.

“Liike kk and np?” She froze and pulled back a bit.

“)(-EY! I AM T)(-E JUDG-E OF T)(AT MIST------ER!” He raised his hands up to her and lowered his head in joking submission.

“Ok, all haiil the miighty ff!” She grinned.

“B-ETT-ER!” He looked back up to her, cheekiness on his face.

“you 2tiill up for that offer though?” Feferi paused before walking over to him and placing her hands on his knees and bending down in line with his face.

“W-Ell! You are just gonna )(ave to wait and sea now aren’t you?” He grinned and placed a hand on her face before pulling her in to a kiss and smirking as she wrapped her arms about his neck.

“Guys! Really? Why c8n’t you just go g8 a room?” Sollux pulled back and glared at Vriska.

“would you liike iit two be next two your room? We could arrange that!” Vriska sneered at him and he smiled to her mockingly before kissing Feferi again. A shower soon flickered off and Sollux pulled away again. “That wiill be miine. Ii wiill be out 2oon.” Feferi nodded and planted a kiss on his head before letting him stand from his chair and leave the computer lab as Dave left the bathroom. Sollux pushed into his shoulder on purpose, only to have Dave avoid it completely and for Sollux to bump into the wall as he cursed to himself and went into the shower.

Tavros was not very entertained; he was wondering how we was supposed to clean himself let alone how he would get in the bathroom and out of it.

“HeY tAvBrO!” He lifted his head and grinned as Gamzee sat on the ground beside his wheelchair. “wHaT’s AlL uP aNd BoThErInG yOu?” He sighed and returned to staring at the ground while he held his hands together.

“i, i JUST FIND THAT i AM, lIKE, uSELESS, i DON’T SEE WHY YOU WOULD LIKE ME…” Gamzee furrowed his brow at this and stood up before, and without warning, picked Tavros up and sat on his chair while he placed Tavros’ legs on either side of his body. Tavros was used to sitting on Gamzee’s lap by now; he gave an uncertain little smile at him before glancing down and to the side. Gamzee placed his fingers under his chin and lifted, making Tavros face him.

“BrO. i CaRe AbOuT wHaT’s InSiDe Of A pErSoN, nOt WhAt’S oN tHe OuTsIdE.” He gave a faint nod.

“bUT, bUT EVEN ON THE INSIDE i AM A JOKE…” Gamzee shook his head.

“DiD vRiSkA tElL yOu ThAt?” Tavros shrugged and Gamzee pulled him in, pressing their lips together softly. Tavros soon wrapped his arms about Gamzee’s as he did him as they held close. It was just a short kiss, but it comforted Tavros none the less. He soon pulled apart but he rested his forehead against his Matesprit’s. The other shower clicked off and Gamzee heard it. “Ok, ShOwEr TiMe!” Tavros was worried again but soon calmed as Gamzee spun him round forward and began wheeling him out of the room and past a fairly clean Equius and into the bathrooms.

Sollux barely heard Gamzee and Tavros entering the bathroom, didn’t even hear them when Gamzee lifted Tavros up, got him out of his clothes and got both of them into the shower. He only just heard them as some groans and moans came from the shower.

He sighed and finished cleansing himself before shutting off the shower, drying and clothing himself before leaving the bathrooms, noticing the wheelchair on his way out. As he left the bathroom and went into the living room a noise behind him made him look back. Karkat and Nepeta hadn’t decided to change back into their clothes and had simply wrapped a towel about themselves as the two ran down the hallway, Nepeta dragging Karkat behind her and neither of them noticed Sollux till Karkat turned to go up the stairs after Nepeta.

Sollux just stood there in shock and wonderment and Karkat growled before pointing two fingers at his own eyes then back at Sollux’s before disappearing. Sollux shook his head and continued into the computer lab.

 

“D --> Where is Nepeta?” Vriska groaned.

“You should be a8le to hear them soon…” Equius was about to say something else but Vriska raised a finger for silence as they waited.

 _‘I want to get out! I hate this watfur!’_ Equius growled.

 _‘STOP YOUR WHINING! YOU LOVE IT!’_ He was a bit confused but then gave a sigh before sitting himself down at his computer once again. Soon their shower turned off but nobody went to move.

After a little while another shower turned off and Sollux came in who growled at Eridan as he passed him.

“Ok… ii2 gz and tv iin the 2hower2?” The Trolls nodded. And Sollux nodded. “thought a2 much. And by the way, kk and np are at iit up2taiir2.” Vriska and Eridan gave a groan while Equius began to sweat at hearing this by his computer. Sollux walked over to Feferi who was at her computer and wrapped his arms about her neck while he leaned his head on her shoulder. She grinned and lifted her arms up and wrapt it about the back of Sollux’s neck as she smiled at him.

“)(ey )(andsome.” He grinned and fixed up his glasses with one hand before rewrapping it around Feferi.

“Hey gorgeou2, you 2till up for that offer?” Feferi grinned.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“actually, ye2, ii would.” Feferi grinned wider and kissed him on the cheek.

“Anytime…” He grinned and turned his head so it faced her as she leant back in for a kiss and trapped her lips on his. Vriska groaned again.

 

Gamzee was sitting down, too tired to be holding both himself and Tavros up. He was just sitting in his lap now, his cheeks blushing furiously as Gamzee’s was too but it didn’t stop them as Gamzee pulled one of Tavros’ legs from the side to the other side so that they straddled each other. Gamzee could feel tinglings tearing about inside of him as his bulge was partially out, Tavros’ was nearly the same but Gamzee didn’t bother to look, he just focused on Tavros as the water from the shower poured over their faces.

He cradled Tavros’ hands in his own while he held his wrist with a smile on those lips which he soon pressed to his own, wanting to soak up as much of him as he could. Tavros gasped and Gamzee felt something warm and smooth slid over his inner thigh, his own bulge being stimulated by the nearby contact and coming even more out. Tavros’ eyes shut, blocking off the world from him except this moment with Gamzee, he wanted nothing else. He suddenly jolted away, his back arching out as he gave a groan as his bulge touched Gamzee’s twining together as the sensors surrounding the appendage went into overload. Gamzee grinned and pressed his lips to his exposed neck, keeping his own sensations inside of him but he couldn’t help a faint purring noise come from his mouth.

Tavros gave a deep groan as Gamzee’s bulge felt along the outside of his nook, Gamzee grinned and let his teeth just scratch over the surface of his neck, he shivered and Gamzee gave a little chuckling noise. His bulge was nearly fully unsheathed by now, the purple tentacle shivering and shaking as the beads of water from the shower head rained down over it, causing it to drip slowly and change the water purple.

Gamzee wasn’t the only one though, he noted, the water was also mixed with some brown from Tavros’ side. He was ashamed of it, as he usually is of himself and he tried to turn his face away but Gamzee pulled him back to face him and to greet his mouth with a kiss. Blush ignited his face, bright rustic orange that sung out from his grey cheeks, Gamzee took this in, and not wanting to make him feel bad, caused himself to blush slightly also. Gamzee gave a little shiver himself at Tavros’ bulge that felt along his own nook and he seemed to feel this, slightly pulling back only to have Gamzee pull him even closer than before.

He gave a groan at which the other shower turned off, though neither of the two noticed this. Gamzee felt Tavros’ bulge sliding along the inside of his leg and he reached a hand down, brushing it between the two tentacles that writhed about and Tavros gave a huff of air. Gamzee grinned and guided Tavros towards his nook. He twitched at the touch of his nook, shivering at it while Tavros arched his back even further than he thought he could.

“g-gAMZEE…” He slowed at this before reaching his unoccupied arm and wrapping it about Tavros’ back and hugging him in closer.

“CaLm DoWn TaVbRo…” Tavros fell against his shoulder and squeezed in closer, gasping as Gamzee’s bulge found his entrance. His neck tightened and he tried to arch backwards at the t thrill only for Gamzee to hold him there, meaning only his neck pulled back as he soon found Gamzee’s bulge slip inside of his nook at about the same time Gamzee placed his inside himself.

Gamzee gave a shiver of delight at the feeling, Tavros keeling into him for his efforts as Gamzee’s legs wrap tightly around his waist and kept him in position. He gave a short moan and clung his arms tighter about Gamzee’s neck, pulling at the little hair he had in his grasp as Gamzee pulled his teeth over his soft skin, just teasingly. Both of their chests breathed heavily as they felt the other inside of them.

Tavros’ stomach coiled up, tension rising in him from being stimulated by Gamzee whose own bulge that was hardening inside of him and about to release his material as he was also about to do. He held the feeling down for shame of lasted barely a minute into this, Gamzee showed no such control and he gave a cry as he unravelled. His back arched into the curved form of Tavros who was slightly shocked at this before shuddering at the experience of the material that slid about his nook and soon out changed the colour purple.

Tavros closed his eyes tight while Gamzee pulled out from his own pleasure, curling his head back down over Tavros’ shoulders as he winced slightly before keeling into him and dying the showers water with his own muddy brown colouring. Gamzee pulled his head back and leant it on Tavros’. His face was a shade of brown that didn’t even look possible and Gamzee had a faint blush of his own coating his cheeks. He brushed the faint trail of hair that was tipping the edge of his forehead and Tavros pulled a hand over his, holding it to his cheek as he leant into it with a smile. There was a moment of silence as they just sat there, their bulges retreating from the other and back into their sheathes while they felt the other and heard them panting heavily as they gazed into each other’s grey eyes that were colouring with their blood colour slowly.

“gAMZEE, i, i-“ He was cut short as Gamzee melted his mouth against his, he was a bit stunned for half a second before he returned the kiss and his arms soon wrapped about his neck. He tilts his head to the side and lets his nose slid against his while his tongue teases at his lips till he gives a slight smile and opens them for him. Tavros sucks at him as he entered his mouth, pulling and urging him to just come in closer but Gamzee soon found his limit and held there for a few more moments before he slowly pulled back.

“DoN’t MoThErFuCkInG wOrRy AbOuT iT tAvBrO.” He grinned sheepishly and gave a kiss back to Gamzee who slowly slid his arms about his waist before hoisting him upright and lifting himself to standing while carrying his Matesprit in his arms, beginning to re-clean their bodies. Soon the shower was turned off and the boys dried themselves on the blue towels that awaited them. They kept silent for a while as Gamzee did most of the drying and other such things before dressing Tavros and placing him in his wheelchair.

Nothing out of the ordinary as he left the bathroom and the humans barely noticed them as they passed through the living room. It was only when in the computer lab that they got some attention.

Terezi and Vriska both glared at the two, it was likely because of their black feelings for the both of them, while Eridan made a scoffing noise for the most of his display of disgust. Sollux had his arms folded over his chest as he looked at the two.

“you guy2 do know that we aren’t goiing two 2ee the iimperiial drone any tiime 2oon riight?” Tavros blushed bright orange and then it was Vriska’s turn. She rose from her chair and stormed over to the two before snatching Tavros in his wheelchair away from Gamzee who then tried to follow after her but was stopped by Terezi who held him back.

“STUP1D CLOWN! FORGOT 4BOUT M3 HUH?” He gave a shrug.

“I dOn’T kNoW sIs.” She gave a little growl and clamped her hand over his mouth.

“L3T M3 DO TH3 T4LK1NG H3R3!” He gave a little nod. “YOU F33L 4NY BL4CKN3SS H3R3?” he showed slight confusion. “C4US3 1 4M F33L1NG 4LOT OF 1T! 4LL OF M1N3 FOCUS3D ON YOU!” Their conversation was continued in such a manner while Vriska practically bullied Tavros.

She had spun him around in his chair so that he faced her and hissed in his face before slapping him. “Did you forget a8out me pupa? Your own Kismesis?” He gulped audibly.

“n-nO, vRISKA. oF COURSE N-NOT!” She frowned again and pressed her forehead against his.

“I can tell that you are lying to me you 8astard!” He tried to look away but this only complicated things as she pulled him out of his chair and threw him to the ground. He cried out a bit but attracted no other attention beside that of Vriska who strolled over to him as he rolled over onto his back and stared up at her angrily. “You c8n’t go forgetting a8out me now can you? You are mine t88!” he stared in slight fear with his widened eyes but she soon fell down on him, pressing his shoulders to the ground violently.

“vRIS-vRISKA! n-nO! sTOP!” She laughed.

“Nice try pupa! 8etter luck next time! Oh w8, I have all the luck!” He pulled his head away from hers only to have her slide her mouth over and lock with his. He palmed his hands at her shoulders ineffectively while her teeth bit and tore a bit at his lips. He tried to pull away, letting a noise similar to that of a whimper escape his mouth but this only made Vriska determined as she tightened her grip on his shoulders, digging her nails deeply into his skin angrily.

Terezi was notably the same with Gamzee but he was pressed against one of the computer benches.

Equius was ignoring them and trying to focus on his computer while Feferi had swung herself around and was sitting on Sollux’s lap by then, their lips melded together. Eridan glanced at Kanaya who was just watching Vriska, no emotion on her face. She wasn’t jealous; she didn’t want to be treated the way Tavros was being treated, and she knew that she was Vriska’s Matesprit, not her Kismesis so it’s not like she’s cheating on her or anything. Equius soon rolled his chair over and began chatting to Aradia.

“Hey guys who’s going for the showeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers…” Eridan and Kanaya turned to the door as John was at the entrance, no one else noticed him there and he closed his mouth as he took in the situation before glancing over at Kanaya and Eridan who both gave a shrug. “Ok, never mind. I’ll go have one while the girls have one…” He took once last look at the Trolls and was about to leave when he heard a thump from upstairs and frowned in confusion. Eridan covered his face with his hand and shook it while Kanaya glanced at the ceiling and gave a little smirk. “Who…” John counted the Trolls in the room. Vriska and Tavros, Terezi and Gamzee, Equius and Aradia, Sollux and Feferi, Eridan and Kanaya, so where were… -oh! _Oooooooooooh…_ “Riiiiiight. I will be going now.” He quickly shook his head and left the computer lab.

He continued shaking his head as he sat down, the other six kids looked at him oddly and he noticed. “Everyone is making out with everyone!” Dave raised an eyebrow while Rose gave a little smirk. Jade gave a big grin and clasped her hands together while the three remaining girls shared a look with each other.

“Who is with who now?” John glanced at Dave who asked him.

“Well, from what I can tell… Terezi is in a Kismesis relationship with Gamzee, same with Tavros and Vriska and Sollux and Eridan. Feferi is with Sollux, Equius is with Aradia, Gamzee is with Tavros, Eridan is with Terezi, Kanaya is with Vriska and I believe that it is Karkat and Nepeta upstairs…”

“Ah! I thought I heard something.” Rose glanced over to the hallway from where she sat before returning to the others. John gave a slow nod.

“Yeeeeeeaaaaah, anyways. The showers are all ours.” The girls nodded and soon they had decided that Rose and Jade would go first, then Jasmine and Leah and then Aria. John just went in to the boys’ showers anyways before he heard the other shower turn on. Upon seeing a scarf hang over the shower he knew it was Eridan.

 

Nepeta gave a giggle as she stumbled up the stairs, pulling Karkat along as he also tripped a bit on his towel around his waist. She tugged at the first door to her right and it opened into a double bedded bedroom. She grinned at this and tugged Karkat inside before shutting the door. He fell onto the bed at the force she had pulled him in with at which she grinned and slipped over to him as he wriggled backwards further onto the bed. She slowly started to crawl up after him, a smirk on her face as she did so.

No one remembers cameras do they?

Karkat grinned. “Come here kitty kitty…” he said in a slow and low voice at which Nepeta purred and crawled closer. Soon her towel was trampled under her knee and it soon fell away, exposing her chest and body to him at which she pulled a hand forward and tugged at his towel. He stayed still as she tugged the whole thing off and threw it to the side while kicking her own behind her and off the bed. Karkat grinned and shuffled back till he was leaning against the pillows, his bulge was already half way out and the redness of it stood out among the rest of the room while Nepeta’s own bulge was a bit further out and already trying to seek out a nook.

She gave a sneaky grin and reached one of her hands out to him, he was expecting her to grab onto his bulge with it but she averted from touching it and went straight over to his body, placing the palm over his stomach. He raised an eyebrow at her while she gave him a sneaky look. She travelled to the side, not paying any attention to his bulge that was writhing and trying to seek attention as it soon revealed itself fully.

Karkat rolled over so he was facing her and she grinned as she smoothed her hand about his stomach before jabbing a finger in under his ribs.

He gasped out and arched his back, knowing that she had just affected him and he continued to be in that manner for a few moments before she retracted her fingers.

“How paws that?” He grinned and stroked a hand through her wet black hair before rubbing his fingers about the base of her horns. She clenched her eyes and jaws shut as she pressed her head even deeper into the touch. A groan escaped her lips and he smiled before moving his other hand about, touching the sensitive grubscars that lined her sides and pressing the base of his fingers into one of them and rubbing it about. She arched sideways into the hand and Karkat smiled as he moved closer to her.

She felt the shift of the bed and opened her eyes to him, giving a smile before she rubbed her own hand over his short little horns, he paused for a moment, revelling in the sensations that it shocked through him. His bulge twitched in agitation at not receiving any attention and it built up the coil that was tightening and knotting about inside of him but it was setting him on fire.

He gave a slight shudder as she rubbed about the base of his horns, his small nubby horns were supposed to be highly sensitive.

Why the fuck does no one remember the fucking cameras?!?!?!

She gave a groan and a mumble at his touch when he pressed deeply into one of her grubscars before he pulled out and jabbed a finger just beneath her rib cage like she had done before, and he was earned the same kind of reaction. She writhed over and her back arched away, her hand reeling back as they grabbed onto the back of her hair and trembled, her breath caught up in her throat while her heart practically stopped for a few moments before restarting with her breathing.

He stopped too soon and pulled away, earning himself a hiss from Nepeta who then threw herself at him as he had barely enough time to grab hold of her as she landed practically sideways over him.

Her elbow grazed over his bulge which tried to grapple with it but failed as it slipped off and away, out of reach. She pressed the upper half of her body into him while her lips locked with his, her eyes staring at his with lust and love which he reciprocated.

Something caught her eye, a glint, just the reflection of a little bit of light in something. She froze and pulled back a bit. Karkat was confused and also froze up.

Finally! They remember the stupid cameras!

Karkat glanced at Nepeta with slight worry. “Nepeta, what-“

“Shh!” She held a finger to his lips which he soon batted away and glanced about, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. He returned to Nepeta with a bewildered look.

“There is noth-“

“SHH!” He once again brushed her finger off of his mouth and glanced about. Now he was bothered. Nepeta kept glancing about her as if expecting a monster to come flying out at any moment to attack them. She then turned abck and faced him, slight fear and shock in her eyes as she spoke in Alternian.

“Ti ooi qiemk towpjin…”

Translation in order.

 “We are being watched…” He froze up and glanced about, how could anyone be watching them? There was nothing to hide behind unless. He gave a growl and began to speak back in Alternian.

“Tjioi ooi wji podioox?”

 “Where are the cameras?” Nepeta glanced about, using her keen hunting cat eyes to spot out the faintest glint of a lens of a camera. She soon turned back to Karkat.

“Ami ex em wji lhatiox em wji yoxi am wji qinxeni woqhi, omawjio qijemn wji bjawa loodi omn o wjeon opwemk hefi wji xdafi ohood…”

“One is in the flowers in the vase on the bedside table, another behind the photo frame and a third acting like the smoke alarm…” He nodded.

“Tam’w wjie jioo vx?”

 “Won’t they hear us?” She shook her head.

“Wjie nam’w xbiof Ohwiomeom xehhe!”

 “They don’t speak Alternian silly!” He gave a nod, it was true, but he was bothered about the cameras spying on them… he pushed her back from him and sat up. Rapid spit fire of curses in Alternian spewing from his mouth in his agitation.

“Lvpfemk jihh! E od kaemk wa fehh wjid! Wjie tehh lioo di! E tehh xhepi wjid em wta tewj de xpewjix tjim E powpj wjid!”

“Fucking hell! I am going to kill them! They will fear me! I will slice them in two with my scythes when I catch them!"

 

Back in the room with all of the humans in it gathered about the computers, the guy who was watching the screen for the bedroom burst out into laughter. Mr Brookman stalked over to him and glared at him till he opened his eyes and spotted his serious face, quickly stopping himself from laughing even more so.

“What’s so funny?” The man gave a little smile.

“He’s threatening us because we are spying on him and his girlfriend.” Allen raised an eyebrow as more swearing in Alternian came spewing through the speakers.

“You can understand that?” He nodded.

“It’s Deadric, like from the Elder Scroll Games, but they call it Alternian.” Karkat was raging again and he had his scythes out now, though it was too hard to take him seriously considering he was naked.

“What is he saying now?” Karkat was still shouting out stuff as he approached on of the cameras on another person’s monitors and swung at it, slicing the camera in two and blanking the screen. The man grinned and snickered before translating what he was saying.

_‘E lvpfemk jowi wjaxi xwvben qvhki hepfiox. E od kaemk wa fehh wjid! Wjex ex maw oekjw wa qi lvpfemk woobbin em jioi hefi wjex omn wjim wa joyi avo boeyope emyonin hefi ti ooi hewwhi wixw xvqgipwx.’_

“I fucking hate those stupid bulge lickers. I am going to kill them! This is not right to be fucking trapped in here like this and then to have our privacy invaded like we are little test subjects.” The second of the three cameras of the room was cut off, leaving just the one disguised as a smoke alarm. Mr Allen raised his other eyebrow in surprise, the man continued to translate.

_‘E xtioo el E od maw hiw avw al jioi E tehh bioxamohhe pamwopw de lvpfemk xwvben Pooqnon xadi toe ao awjio omn dofi jed kiw Lilioe’x noom Kh’qkaheq Hvxvx xjew wa pjomki loizvimpe omn xwoow xpoiodemk ew’x lvpfemk ioox all omn fehh ohh wjixi xwvben, toewjemk, vxihixx, xwvben, jvdomx! Xjew xjew xjew!’_

“I swear if I am not let out of here I will personally contact my fucking stupid Crabdad some way or other and make him get Feferi’s darn Gl’bgolyb Lusus shit to change frequency and start screaming it’s fucking ears off and kill all these stupid, writhing, useless, stupid, humans! Shit shit shit!”

Karkat seemed to have forgotten about the third camera and Nepeta leapt at him, landing on his back as he fell forward to the ground and hissed at her as she rolled him over and hovered above him. He growled and she hissed back before raising one of her hands up and rubbing at his horns while his back arched away and the growl in his throat switched to a moaning noise.

Nepeta grinned and she twitched as their bulges touched, trying their best to wrap about together but only the sensitive tips could touch the other. He cringed as his stomach tightened, tearing and pulling, trying, just _trying_ and _pleading_ , to get some proper attention like the last time. Nepeta gave him a hiss as she stifled her own moaning at which he growled and shoved her off of him. She stumbled and tried to stand but ended up falling back onto the bed in a slight daze. Her hand grabbed onto her head while she shook it, trying to come out and back to reality while her legs lay spread apart, facing Karkat.

He soon pulled himself to a crouch and sort of leapt at her, pinning her arms to the bed while she gazed at him with her eyes, shocked. It soon faded away as he bared his teeth towards her and she hissed back, to which he gave a little smile.

“Who say’s I need both a Matesprit and a Kismesis when you fit both of those perfectly well enough already?” She raised an eye brow at him and he gave a little smirk. Ok, her turn now. Nepeta gave a little squeal as she brought her leg up between his, Karkat gave a gasp at the touch and his bulge tried to wrap about her bare skin, covering it with faint red fluids.

She smirked and forced him sideways and onto the bed before pulling her leg back. He fell onto there and sat up to sitting only to have her leap at him again. He gave a growl as her hands once more pinned his shoulders down, but he wasn’t going to let her be the leader of this round! Oh no! He rolled over until he was above her to which she frowned and bit at her bottom lip. He smiled at her annoyance.

“Does this bother you?” she gave a little hiss before pushing him off with her knees and then grasping his shoulders once again to the bed. He snarled in return.

“I purfur this way…” She said slyly to him. He soon began to pull at her arms that restrained him but she hissed and gripped tighter before lowering herself further down over him, letting the sensitive tip of her bulge tangle with his as he gave a moan and arched his back away from her while she fluttered her eyes closed and trembled.

He soon broke free of the trance before Nepeta could and he grasped his own arms over her shoulders and rolled her to the side before pinning her down on the bed. She had flung her eyes open at this and not to mention the flip of the world about her. She hissed at Karkat and tried to pull away but he held firm and his legs spread wide to stop himself from being pulled over in a roll like he had done to Nepeta. His bulge once again tangled with hers and she groaned and arched into him as he did basically the same thing, allowing himself to slip closer to her and for his bulge to just tip at the opening of her nook tantalisingly.

She gave a shudder and keened into his body as he still lowered himself down, shaking a bit at the shockwaves that flushed through and over him again and again. She soon pulled her arms about his back and dragged them over the skin, scratching with her nails as she did so and causing him to growl at the stinging it created. His back arched his upper body away from her but his hips ground down while his bulge slipped inside of Nepeta.

She pulled him back down to her as she slammed her head into his neck, gasping as her body convulsed. Karkat’s eyes cringed shut and he heard Nepeta let out a groan and he bared his teeth before he scraped them over the soft skin of her neck to which she hissed back and bit into his. He growled at her before she rolled him over and pulled back from him, baring her teeth in a hiss to which he snarled.

“I think it’s only furair.” He shook his head and tried to roll her back over, only to get half way before he was stopped on his side. He growled and rolled back over so she was above him before continuing and managing to get on top of her. Nepeta hissed and tried to roll back but he held firm as he pressed his hips into hers. Nepeta’s hiss dissolved into moans at which he grinned.

“I do better on top then you do!” She hissed at this.

“When you are above me I get to scratch you.” She scraped her nails over his back as if to prove her point. He arched back from her for a moment before facing her again.

“Fine by me kitty!” She hissed, realising that it didn’t work and he smirked before pressing her head into her neck to which she bit at his. Karkat snarled and tugged at her own skin with his teeth. She gave a rumble from her chest and locked her legs about his waist before continuing to scrape over his back and bite. He pressed into her with force, causing her to stiffen and lean back into the bed before he pulled back.

She hissed and scraped over his back again, and making his press into her again. He cringed and bit deeper into her neck. Now she fought back.

She gave a screech like a cat and tugged herself free, splitting apart from Karkat as he growled at her. He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Which is it? Matesprit or Kismesis?” She gave another hiss.

“Maybe both. Our ancestors went beyond the quadrants so why can’t we?” He smirked at this and crouched down as she was in the same pose. He needed to release and he knew she did too but was just playing hard to get, which only made him want it more and he leapt at her, only for her to leap off of the bed and stand against the wall. He growled and she hissed back as he once more leapt for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What am I doing with my life?!?!?!


	4. Normal?

_‘Can Leah, Aria and Jasmine please head to the door.’_ The speaker cut off after that message and the three girls glanced to each other before standing.

“Well, be seeing you girls another time then.” They nodded and waved goodbye to Dave who returned the gesture as they walked down the hallway and to the door. It soon swung open and Maria was waiting there with a smile. Just like last time she led them out and down other corridors, the door closing behind them as they left the house. They travelled along the same route as last time and, sure enough, they ended up back in Mr Brookman’s office.

Again they sat down in the three seats by his desk. “Now girls, we have decided that only one of you will be allowed to stay with us in our facility.” Leah and Jasmine frowned. Aria was less fazed. “We will allow the one with most knowledge to stay as a… ‘guide’ for us.” Jasmine glanced at Leah with a questioning look, gesturing towards Allen and Leah tilted her head down in an _‘are you sure?’_ manner to which she nodded and it was settled.

“Leah will stay; she introduced us to Homestuck in the first place.” Allen nodded.

“You two will be expected to not tell anyone of anything, you will do this, understand?” the two nodded, not wanting to think about what would happen if they told someone else… “Good, Maria will escort you both back to the vans where you will be returned home. Leah, come with me.” Leah stood and gave Jasmine and Aria a hug before they turned and walked to the door, which opened and Maria stood waiting as she held the door open and shut it as they left.

Mr Brookman stood from his desk and stepped over to one of the bookcases that lined the wall before skimming over the books and pulling one out. Of course, should have guessed. The _‘amazing’_ swing open bookcase. Leah had to roll her eyes slightly as the book case peeled away from the wall, revealing a large room with many computers inside, each with a man or woman posted at its seat and watching the screen.

Leah walked into the white washed room, her shoes making a little noise against the tiled floor. She raised an eyebrow as she noticed half the screens were of places in the house. Allen led her over to a screen that displayed the computer lab. She raised an eyebrow as she saw Tavros making out with Vriska while Terezi made out with Gamzee and Sollux made out with Feferi. She gave a little smile.

“Is it normal for them to share?” Leah gave a nod.

“There are four quadrants; you are allowed one person in each one. Get me some paper and I will show you.” Allen nodded and turned to an assistant.

“Grab some paper and a pencil.” The man scurried off before returning shortly with a sheet of lined paper and a simple pencil.

“Thank you.” She accepted the materials with a smile before placing the paper on the desk and drawing out a grid of four squares. A heart was placed in the top left with a spade below, to the right of the spade was the clubs and above that the diamond. Along the top she wrote ‘red romance’ and on the bottom; ‘black romance’. On the left she wrote ‘concupiscent’ and on the right ‘conciliatory’. She labelled the shapes with their proper names also before showing it to Mr Brookman.

“You can have one person in each quadrant. Your Matesprit is just one you love. You would feel flushed or red towards them. Your Moirail is like your brother or sister to you, you care for them but not in a loving way. You would feel pale towards them. Now, your Kismesis is the person who you hate but are attracted to, you would feel black towards them. And finally your Auspistice, they are to interfere with your Kismesis relationship to change it or to stop you from killing each other. You would feel ashen towards them.” Allen gave a nod.

“So one person can be in a relationship with four people and it would be ok?” Leah nodded.

“For the words on the outside. Red Romance is for positive feelings. Black romance for negative feelings. Conciliatory is for friendships of sorts while concupiscent quadrants are for reproduction as you may say.” He raised an eyebrow.

“We heard them say something about an ‘imperial Drone’. What is it?” Leah laughed.

“It is a creature that goes to Trolls who are nine sweeps old, or eighteen years old, and demands them to mate with their Matesprit or Kismesis and give the material they produce into buckets… Are there any buckets in the house?” Allen paused before giving a nod and Leah grinned. “Where?”

“Under the sink in the laundry.”

“Awesome! Now, anyways. The imperial drone gives the material to their mother grub who then lays eggs which hatch the Trolls in the form of a wiggler as they say. They look just like a grub except their heads are like they are now and their bodies are the colour of their blood. After a while they pupate and turn into what would look like a young child, except with grey skin, horns, yellow eyes, differnet coloured skin, sometimes with glls and they have three scars on their sides called Grubscars. They are looked after by their Lusus who-“

“Karkat said Feferi’s Lusus was called a… Gl’bgolyb? What is that?”

“It is a.. um.. I can show you on the internet. Can I use one of your computers?” He nodded and led her over to one that was unused. She soon opened up the page for Lusi on the wiki and let him read through it while she waited.

After a little while he gave a nod and pulled back. “They are a guardian of sorts?” Leah nodded.

“They care for the newly hatched Trolls and raise them but after a while they switch rolls, the Trolls caring for their Lusus.” He nodded.

“Why does Nepeta have a tail and the others don’t?”

“It is said that when Nepeta first met Equius she hugged him, he didn’t know what to do so he hugged her back and accidentally broke her spine. He felt terrible and built her a new one with an animatronic tail which she now thinks of as part of her, which it is since she can control it.” Again he nodded.

“Karkat also mentioned a Bulge and a Nook. What are they?” Leah burst out laughing.

“In what context?”

“ _‘I fucking hate those stupid bulge lickers.’_ What does he mean?” Leah burst into laughter.

“A bulge is their form of the male genitalia,” He raised an eyebrow. “Except, theirs is sort of… a tentacle of sorts. The nook is the female genitalia.” He paused before giving a slight nod.

“But it doesn’t work like one?” She shook her head.

“No, it is just like a pocket of sorts. A Troll has both genitalia mind you.” He gave a nod.

“We have also set up some hobby stuff in the extra room. A sowing machine with plenty of materials and manikins. Some cat stuff, some exercise equipment, some robotic parts and spanners and such while we have a large pool in one of the other rooms for the seadwellers. Is there anything else they would like?”

“Give Nepeta a kitten and she will love you forever.” He gave a nod.

“Have a look at this…” He moved over to a computer with a man sitting at it, and on the screen was the bedroom which Nepeta and karkat were in. Leah gave a little smile as she watched Nepeta back up against the wall, hissing, while Karkat tried to leap at her. Leah held a hand to her mouth to stop her from laughing.

“Nepeta is playing games with him.” He nodded.

“That would be normal?” She nodded and stifled a giggle as Nepeta tugged free of Karkat’s grasp about her wrist. He snarled and watched as she slid over the top of the bed to the other side. He raised an eyebrow at her and leant forward to climb over; she took a step back and grinned.

“NEPETA! FUCKING COME HERE!” She shook her head and giggled.

“:33 < *ac thinks this is fun. Does cg not think so?” He frowned but he couldn’t lie, he was partially enjoying this game. He leapt across the bed and tried to pin her shoulders only for her to move out of the way and to leave him grabbing the wall to which he pulled away from and glared at her. She grinned and crouched down like a cat would when stalking its prey. He smirked and also crouched down, crawling along his feet and hands about the bed while she still sat still on the ground.

With a leap he pounced at her, she realised too late what was happening and tried to bounce away but he grabbed his arms about her biceps and pinned her to the ground with a growl. She writhed about in annoyance and hissed at him when she realised she couldn’t get free. Karkat grinned and pushed a leg between hers and she gave a hiss before it dissolved into a moan as he stroked about the base of her horns. He grinned and she gave a little hiss before pressing her fingers into his grubscars.

“Let’s leave them be.” Leah turned from the screen and faced Allen with a nodded.

“Are you going to monitor their dreams too?” He nodded and paced about the lab.

“We can intercept their thoughts and translate it to a computer, also able to speak to them through our microphones.” Leah gave a nod.

“Note, monitor Karkat’s dreams. He will nearly always find himself with his Post-Scratch self and it is hilarious when the two get in a fight! Literally!” He gave a nod.

“Will do. We should take you back now I think.” She gave a nod and he led her back into his office before pushing the book back in place and closing the bookcase-door-swing-thingy. She gave him a curt nod and took her leave, Maria soon leading her back to the house and locking her back in there.

The other Trolls had finished their showers and had the other humans and she had her own shower. Undressing and stepping into the warm water she nearly forgot where she was and what had happened to her – nearly. The thoughts soon came back to her and she furrowed her brow with her eyes closed as she let the water flow over her body. She cratched at her head as she began to think; _‘will they ever_ really _be able to go? Or will they just keep them locked up here for the rest of time till they die?’_ she scraped the thought out of her head.

What would happen to her anyway? Will they just keep her there and not let her go for fear of letting the truth out? _Pft!_ Not like anyone would believe a girl talking about aliens existing and all of this fantastical stuff! They should let her go, they have to. She soon left the shower and changed back into her clothes and came out to the living room to be greeted with John, Jade, Rose and Dave.

“Hey guys.” Jade and John turned and smiled as Leah came in, Dave and Rose gave a nod.

“Welcome back Leah.”

“Thanks Jade.”

“Where are the others?” John looked to the hallway, expecting Aria and Jasmine. Leah sat down on the couch between Dave and Rose

“Mr Brookman only allowed one of us to stay here.” Dave nodded.

“Bugger, man. I looked forward to having a party but now there aren’t enough of us…”

“wwell wwe are alwways here you knoww, or did you forget about us?” Rose nodded to Eridan hwo had stuck his head out of the door.

“We know, but we are wanting a human party.” Eridan looked sad, crestfallen.

“Oh… ok, if that is wwhat you wwant than I wwon’t stop you…” he pulled his face back from the door and shut it. Rose sighed.

“Couldn’t you have been a _little_ nicer to him at least?” Rose shrugged to Jade.

“Maybe, it doesn’t matter now though.” Jade shook her head.

“Be a bit nicer next time though please.” Rose gave a little nod.

“Ok, sure.” Leah snickered to herself as she remembered what she had seen. Dave turned to her with a blank expression, as always.

“What is it Leah?” She turned to him and shook her head with a grin.

“You know they have camera’s watching us right?” He gave a nod.

“Spotted them earlier.” Leah nodded.

“I saw the screens that displayed the videos. I saw into the bedrooms…” John was a bit confused till he heard a thump from upstairs. He glanced at the ceiling with one of his eyebrows raised before realising and making a silent _‘oooooooh’_ with his mouth. “They are at it, it was hilarious!” Rose looked at her oddly now.

“How so?” Leah giggled.

“They were playing a game or something! Like cat and mouse!”

“Makes sense considering who Nepeta is.” She nodded to John.

“Yeah, by the way, best you guys go claim a bedroom before the Trolls get there! Not that it’ll matter really since they sleep at night though, but still. Let’s go grab one quickly!” Leah jumped up and raced out of the living room, the feet of the other kids following her as she pounced up the stairs.

There were four doors on the left and four on the right with one door at the end and one beside the stairs. Leah turned around and grabbed the only one that was facing the direction that the living room would be and opened it. It was different to the other ones, that is why she chose it. Unfortunately is was smaller than the other ones, but was a single bedder. The creamy wooden bed was pressed to the side with lavender purple blankets on it that matched the wall it stood against. There was a small bedside table and a mirror next to it and that was all for that room. She liked it.

“This one’s mine!” She called to the others who were at the top of the stairs now. They quickly set off and went in pairs, the girls together and the boys together to save rooms. Rose pulled Jade to the end one on the left and pushed it open. It contained a double bed with white sheets and bedframe to match the white carpet while having faint pink pillows to match the feature wall. There were two bedside tabled and a mirror on one of the walls. The same lay out as the other rooms really.

“We call this one!” The two called. Meanwhile, John and Dave had claimed the faint blue room as their own. Dave pulled out his phone and checked the time.

“Shit, guys! It’s nearly six! Who’s cooking?” Shrug, shrug, shrug. Dave sighed. “I wonder what Trolls eat then…” The five soon headed back downstairs and Leah peered into the computer lab. Phew, no sloppy make outs were happening, for the time being at least.

“Hey guys! Who can cook?” They turned from their computers to face her, Eridan not even caring along with Sollux. Feferi gave a smile.

“I CAN COOK! I LOV-E TO COOK! CAN I COOK?” Leah gave a smile.

“Sure you can cook!” She smiled and clapped to herself happily. Tavros soon spoke up.

“cAN, cAN i COOK TOO? i CAN COOK,” Leah nodded.

“Of course, you two want to start now?” They both nodded and Leah grinned before leaving the room. The two Trolsl soon walking out, um, walking and… wheeling? Out of the room and into the kitchen. “What can you make?” Feferi smiled.

“I can make clam c)(owder, prawns, lobster, crab, any seafood!” Leah nodded.

“Tavros?” He shrugged.

“i CAN MAKE SOME THINGS, bUT, sHOULD WE SEE WHAT WE HAVE BEFORE DECIDING WHAT TO COOK?” Feferi gave a nod and pulled the fridge open. It was stocked with a variety of food and Tavros grinned a bit. She soon opened the freezer up, there were meats in there of all sorts, and amazingly, there were some prawns and clams in there! Feferi grabbed them out and held them up.

“L-ETS COOK T)(-ES-E!” Tavros nodded.

“uH, sURE,” Feferi giggled and Tavros went about the cupboards, pulling them open one at a time and looking inside before finally wheeling over to Feferi who was at a bench and handing her the chopping board which she took happily. Leah smiled before sitting back in the lounges with her fellow humans.

“Dinner should be done soon. Lucky that Feferi and Tavros know how to cook huh?” they nodded.

“What are they cooking?” Jade held her hands together happily and looked excited just by the thought of food. “I’m starving!” Leah gave a small laugh.

“I think they are making prawns and clams,” She turned and watched as they pulled out some frozen veggies from the freezer and put them in a pot of water before setting it on the stove. “with some veggies.” She added in and Jade gave a smile and nodded.

“Sounds great!” Leah and John nodded.

“I like clams and prawns, exquisite I must say.” Dave nodded in agreement with Rose.

“True that.”


	5. Fight!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now comes the Vantascest...

Karkat frowned as he walked along the path towards the dreambubble; he felt something in his mind but couldn’t get it out. ‘ _Probably those meddling humans…_ ’ he thought to himself as he continued to walk, soon finding himself in a replica of Derse and Prospit when inside of the bubble. He glanced about, no one was nearby or even in this bubble from the look of things, till a flash of red told him otherwise.

“OH GOG NO…” He spotted Kankri walking towards him with that smug expression as usual. He gave something close to a smile as he approached.

“Why, hell9 karkat. h9w are y9u?” Karkat grumbled to himself and crossed his arms.

“I WAS PRETTY FUCKING GOOD UNTILL YOU SHOWED UP!” He paused, seemingly hurt before he grinned and continued to walk over to him, laughing even.

“Hahaha 9h Karkat. Y9u have a funny sense 9f hum9r s9metimes. 9ffensive, 6ut funny.” He raised an eyebrow at his Dancestor who then stopped a few feet away from him.

“WHAT? HOW IS IT FUNNY? HOW DID YOU *INTERPRET* THAT TO BE A JOKE?” The smile dropped from his face and he crossed his arms.

“I am attempting t9 6e sarcastic.” Karkat scoffed.

“AND FAILING AT IT,” he looked a bit more hurt and he added in; “MISERABLY.”

“Yes, if y9u c9uldnt tell I’m in rather 9f a crisis. Cr9nus and s9me 9thers are s9rt 9f messing with my head and it was me 9n edge.” Karkat slapped his hand against his head sarcastically.

“WHAT? WOW NEVER THOUGHT *YOU* OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD HAVE PROBLEMS!” Kankri frowned.

“Well, yes. 9f all the times, I am actually 9ffended.” Karkat sneered.

“WHEN AREN’T YOU?”

“9ften.” He gave a dismissive flick of his hand before folding it against his chest once more. Karkat straightened himself and crossed his arms tighter over his chest.

“HARD TO BELIEVE.” He was still frowning.

“Actually, m9st 9f the time I am c9mplaining 9f triggers is a warning, n9t that I am 9ffended.” Karkat scoffed again.

“OH, SORRY. I COULD NEVER TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEEN THE TWO.”

“It is 6ecasue y9u have never seen me triggered 6ef9re.” Karkat frowned, Kankri continued. “and I w9uld rather n9t bring up 9ur..... turm9il…” Karkat smirked.

“AHUH, THAT WAS A *THRILLING* EXPERIENCE!” He frowned again and stiffened a bit.

“It was a rather regretta6le 9ne for me... I sh9uld have kept my 'c99l' as y9u w9uld call it.”

“AHUH, ARE YOU KEEPING YOUR 'COOL' NOW?”

“Yes. Very well f9r my situati9n.”

“OK, MEANS I HAVE TO INSULT YOU MORE THEN.” H paused before continuing in a fakingly sweet voice. “WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING LATELY?” He raised an eyebrow at him questioningly but soon ignored it and closed his eyes as he spoke.

“N9t much, standard necessities.” Karkat raised his eyebrow this time.

“THAT IS?” He opened his eyes.

“That is what, Karkat?” Karkat looked at him oddly before shaking his head sadly.

“WOW! YOU REALLY AREN'T YOURSELF LATELY. YOU ARE BARELY TALKING AS IT IS!” Kankri shrugged.

“Well, I have 6een up t9 things.”

“WHAT *THINGS?*”

“I d9nt kn9w, Karkat. Pers9nal things.” Karkat took a step closer to intimidate him, which it did. And he shrunk back from him a bit.

“LIKE WHAT 'PERSONAL THINGS'?” He gulped a bit before crossing his arms tighter and closing his eyes as he talked again.

“Well, Karkat, if y9u must kn9w...... I have 6een... researching.”

“ON WHAT?”

“Pe9ple are starting t9 say my rants are getting repetitive s9 I decided t9 extend my reas9n.” Karkat gave a little grumble.

“AHUH, HAVE YOU BEEN HAVING ANY MONOLOGUES WITH ANYONE LATELY?” Kankri was a bit taken aback and opened his eyes again.

“N9, n9t recently… why?” Karkat shrugged and smirked.

“I WAS WONDERING WHO I COULD TALK TO ABOUT HOW BORING YOU ARE…” Kankri gapped a bit at him, his arms loosening from about his chest as he did so.

“What? I mean... I am reas9nable. 69ring is a crude, 9ffensive w9rd.”

“YES, JUST LIKE HALF OF THE OTHER THINGS THAT FALL OUT OF MY MOUTH. HANG ON...” he paused as he smirked before talking again. “FUCK, SHIT, BULGELICKER, NOOKSNIFFER, BITCH, STUPID, MOTHERFUCKER, SHALL I GO ON? OR AM I ALREADY TRIGGERING YOU?” Kankri’s left eye twitched and he stiffened, it was working.

“Yes, y9u are, Karkat. And I must ask y9u respecta6ly t9 check y9ur privileges.” Karkat laughed mockingly.

“HAHAHA! NOPE! HANG ON, LET ME TALK IN YOUR LANGUAGE...” He paused as he began thinking. Kankri twitched again.

“If y9u d9 n9t check y9ur privileges I will assure the privilege 9f bec9ming a unic.” Karkat shook his head, not knowing what he was talking about.

“NO THANKS.” He gave a smirk as a thought came to him. “THOU BESLUBBERING DISMAL-DREAMING LEWDSTER! DO YOU GET ME?” Kankri was taken aback, he understood but he decided to hide it.

“N9.” Karkat shrugged.

“WOW, YOU REALLY ARE STUPID AREN'T YOU?”

“N9, Karkat. Just l9gical. I d9 n9t kn9w everything - as much as I wish I did.”

“NO WONDER NO ONE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU. WELL, NOT LIKE THEY COULD, YOU TALK OVER THEM TOO MUCH. YOU DON'T LET THEM GET A SINGLE WORD IN. ISN'T THAT MOST OF YOUR CONVERSATIONS THOUGH?” Kankri sighed and shrugged.

“I supp9se…” Karkat gapped.

“OH WOW! YOU ACTUALLY ADMIT TO IT! THIS IS A MIRACLE! AND I AM ACTUALLY TALKING! YOU BARELY LET ME GET A WORD IN ON ANY OF OUR CONVERSATIONS!”

“Well y9u seem to take the r9le 9f the lecturer t9day, Karkat.”

“WOW, YOU ARE A WIMP. YOU NEVER STAND UP FOR YOURSELF DO YOU? EVER?” Kankri twitched again and crossed his arms tighter, standing taller as he did so.

“I have. If I must 6ring it up again, may I remind y9u 9f 9ur scuffle?” Karkat grinned.

“HAHAHA!! I ENJOYED THAT!” Kankri scoffed.

“I defended my 9pini9n and my rights.” He held his arms even tighter as his neck strained, clearly showing the veins that ran through it. Karkat grinned again.

“YOU ACTUALLY FOUGHT BACK FOR A SECOND!” Kankri wasn’t fazed as he faced Karkat dead on.

“Y9u still have a scar.” He poked at his cheek where the wheel of Latula’s board had caught onto the skin and torn a scratch there. Karkat snarled and Kankri chuckled a bit. He slapped his hand away from his cheek in anger.

“YOU WANT TO HAVE ONE OF YOUR OWN THEN?” Kankri pulled his arm back into its crossed position again.

“N9, Karkat. I just want a simple c9nversati9n” Karkat smirked.

“WELL IT GOES A BIT MORE COMPLICATED WHEN YOU TURN PHYSICAL.” He blinked.

“What do you mean?” Karkat growled. He soon pulled his right arm free and poked at Kankri’s cheek like he had done to him.

“DOES THIS TRIGGER YOU?” Kankri glared at him angrily.

“Please d9 n9t t9uch me.” Karkat continued to poke him.

“PARDON?” Kankri frowned.

“Karkat, d9 n9t start this…” Karkat poked him again and again in the same spot.

“START WHAT AGAIN?” Kankri slapped his hand away in annoyance.

“Karkat, please. Y9u kn9w I d9 n9t like 6eing t9uched…” Karkat smirked.

“I DO NOT LIKE IT EITHER SO MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU SHOULD REFRAIN YOURSELF FROM TOUCHING ME!” Kankri pulled his face away only to have Karkat poke it even harder.

“Karkat…” He gave a little growl of aggravation before giving a huff and turning to go. Karkat snarled and grabbed onto his sweater, pulling him back.

“YOU JUST GONNA WALK AWAY NOW HUH?” Kankri, once again, was unfazed.

“Yes, quite simple.” Karkat frowned.

“WELL NOW YOU CAN’T,” he tightened his grip on his sweater to prove his point. “SO WHAT YOU GOING TO DO?” Kankri gave a gulp but ‘kept his c99l’.

“I am g9ing t9 stay calm and try t9 figure 9ut a way t9 st9p this, 9r y9u will eventually get 69red with me, because 96vi9usly Y9U will n9t res9rt t9 physical vi9lence until needed, my Karkat, as y9u are just that type 9f t9oll, I kn9w this.” Karkat snarled.

“YOU KNOW NOTHING OF ME!” Kankri still stood without emotion.

“Karkat, I kn9w m9re than y9u think.” Karkat growled angrily, getting in his face about this now.

“NO, FUCK YOU AND YOUR MASTURBATORY BLATHER, I AM GODDAMNED TALKING HERE!” Kankri was a bit shocked. “I HAVE LIVED THROUGH HELL, YOU COSMIC IDIOT. DID YOU LIVE WITH A CONSTANT FEAR OF BEING KILLED IF YOU SCRAPED YOUR KNEE WHEN SOMEONE WAS AROUND TO SEE WHAT COLOUR OOZED OUT?”

“Karkat. Th9se w9rds are EXTREMLY impr9per f9r y9ur situati9n. ECPECIALLY ar9und me when I am already triggered.” Karkat snarled and shook him a bit in anger as he glared at his blank white eyes.

“WERE YOU THE ONE WHO WAS FUCKING TELEPORTED TO A WHOLE NOTHER UNIVERSE? WERE YOU THE ONE WHO WAS CAPTURED BY STUPID HUMANS AND TAKEN CAPTIVE AND SET UP IN A HOUSE TO BE WATCHED AND HAVE *YOUR* PRIVACY INVADED?”

“.....well, karkat.... that is.. unpleasant t9 even think 9f…” Karkat shook him again and Kankri seemed to be shocked at this, panicking slightly.

“THE ANSWER IS NO YOU FUCKING WEREN'T, ASSHOLE! YOU'RE A FUCKING CREAM PUFF, YOU SORRY PIECE OF INCORPOREAL WASTE. YOU WOULDN'T HAVE LASTED TWO NIGHTS WHERE I GREW UP – WHICH IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT BY THE WAY, YOU MADE ALTERNIA LIKE THAT YOU INCREDIBLE SHITHEAD AND YOU HAVE THE GODDAMNED NERVE TO TELL ME I SHOULD HAVE BEEN CALMER?!?!  NO! FUCK YOU! YOU AND YOUR MOTOR MOUTH!” Kankri was shocked, pausing a few seconds before finding his mouth and using it.

“Well, Karkat, That is h9rri6le and I am s9rry. Truly. I am.” He yanked at his sweater again.

“AND THAT CHANGES EVERYTHIGN NOW, HUH?” Kankri shook his head slightly.

“N9…” He smirked into his face in faking enjoyment.

“OH PLEASE, CONTINUE. ENLIGHTEN ME!” Kankri paused before swallowing audibly and talking.

“Well, karkat. I d9 n9t feel a lecture w9uld 6e appr9priate f9r this situati9n, as y9u seem t9 6e triggered by it. S9 I shall just say that I cann9t d9 much n9w, 6ut i am ap9l9gizing. And I truly deeply am s9rry I am n9t aware 9f h9w y9u live 9r what y9ur life is like.” Kankri was trying to calm Karkat down but his little speech only made him even angrier. He gave him a rough shove and pushed away from him.

“NO! APOLOGISING WON'T GET YOU *ANYWHERE* IN LIFE. OR IN YOUR CASE; THE AFTERLIFE IN YOUR STUPID LITTLE DREAM BUBBLE!” Kankri was a little saddened.

“Karkat, I am s9rry…” He gave him one last sad look before turning and slowly walking away. Karkat gave a snarl and stoped his foot angrily before grabbing a book out of the book case nearby and tossing it at Kankri, hitting him square on the head. He grasped at his head in annoyance and turned around. Karkat was heaving up and down.

“FUCK YOU! YOU NEVER FIGHT BACK! JUST FUCKING FIGHT BACK YOU PATHETIC FOOL OF AN ANCESTOR!” Kankri shook his head.

“I d9 n9t fight 6ack 6ecause there is n9 reas9n....I 6elieve...... anything caused 6y words can 6e s9lved 6y them....” Karkat growled at him.

“JUST LET GO OF WHAT YOU KNOW AND LET YOUR STUPID FUCKING INSTINCTS TAKE OVER! FIGHT BACK YOU IDIOTIC FOOL!” He started towards him, slowly and dauntingly like a spider to its trapped prey.

“Karkat, I d9 n9t want t9. 6ut I guess that excuse is far bey9nd y9urs.” Karkat stopped a few feet away from him and bared his teeth angrily.

“COME ON, FIRST SHOT! TAKE IT!” He held firm, bracing slightly. Kankri shook his head.

“I never said I w9uld d9 it…” Karkat snarled.

“COME ON! IF YOU DON'T MAKE THE FIRST MOVE I WILL! AND IT WON'T BE TOO NICE…” His hands balled up to form fists to get his point across while his eyes aimed like daggers towards Kankri’s blank white ones. He shook his head again.

“I will refuse t9 hit y9u f9r p9intless reas9ns.”

“POINTLESS? HOW ABOUT TO LET OUT THE ANGER YOU HAVE KEPT BOTTLED UP OVER THE PAST GOODNESS KNOWS HOW MANY SWEEPS? IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!” Kankri twitched again, Karkat was getting through to him again, it was soon reassured as Kankri clenched his hands into fists.

“Perhaps... 6ut m9st likely n9t, I deal with it fine...” Karkat growled in his throat.

“IF YOU LET IT ALL OUT YOU WILL DEAL WITH IT BETTER…” He took a step closer, aiming to intimidate Kankri but he held firm. Kankri wasn’t one for fighting though, the step only riled him up even more, with a last glance he raised one of his hands up and closed his eyes as he took a swing at Karkat’s arm, landing a small pap on it really. Karkat scoffed angrily and glared at him as he opened his eyes.

“REALLY? COME ON! FIGHT HARDER!” Kankri was a bit shocked and didn’t react till Karkat shot his fist forward and pummelled it into Kankri’s stomach. He doubled over and coughed at the impact before pulling back upright. He sucked in a breath of air and spoke.

“Well. If y9u really insist 9n my d9ing s9. I w9uld hate t9, 6ut…” He glanced sideways before quickly swinging a fisted arm into Karkat’s side. He stumbled to the side a bit and grasped at his ribs where he had been hit before glancing back to Kankri who seemed to be beaming proudly and grinned.

“BETTER! KEEP IT UP AND YOU MIGHT SURVIVE!” Without giving him time to react, Karkat slammed his fist back into his stomach before punching him square in the face. Kankri doubled over and held one hand on his nose and the other on his belly. He paused for a while before glancing up at Karkat who smirked.

“He he,” Karkat raised an eyebrow at him and Kankri rubbed his face once more before standing upright again. A quick smirk was Karkat’s only warning before Kankri leapt at him, tackling him till he was held on his back with his shoulders pinned to the ground.

Karkat bared his teeth in annoyance before sticking his knees between their bodies and pushing Kankri to the side as he then slammed his fist into his abdomen. Karkat rolled over as Kankri coiled up a bit and quickly pressed his shoulders down to the ground while his legs blocked him on either side.

Kankri was not amused, he nailed his knee up into Karkat’s stomach to which he recoiled before grabbing his head with one hand and slamming the back of it into the ground with a hiss. “KEEP GOING! TRY HARDER!” Kankri frowned angrily at him.

“Well it's n9t like I am d9ing this 6y ch9ice....” He slammed a fist into the side of Karkat’s head and he snarled and kneed him in the stomach as a return as he bunched his hand in his hair and yanked.

“BETTER I MUST SAY. KEEP GOING MY *PUPIL!*” He sneered the last part and bared his teeth again. Kankri raised an eyebrow at him and smiled.

“Pupil eh? He he!” He lolled his head to the side and bit into the hand that was holding his hair about wrist length. Karkat yelled in anger and pain as he pulled his hand back. He cradled his arm to his chest for a few seconds and just stared at the smirking Kankri.

“YOU LITTLE _MONSTER!-“_ The rest was cut off as he raked his claws over his face much like an animal with just such a snarl to follow it through.

“GAH!”He held both his hands to his face as blood started to seep from the clear scratches. The same mutant candy red as his sweater started to seep through his hands. He smiled as his breathing became heavy and he glared through his fingers at Karkat who was also breathing hard and coddling his arm to his chest. “Hmm… g9nna play dirty eh?” Karkat raised an eyebrow but was not fast enough to avoid Kankri’s hands as they grappled with his nubby horns much to his annoyance. “9ffensive en9ugh f9r y9u?!”

Karkat gave a shudder, again, his horns were sensitive and he pulled back a bit before jabbing his fingers into the grub scars that lined his sides. “IS THAT BETTER, KANKRI? HOW DOES THAT FEEL?!” He jabbed again and Kankri cringed and pulled on his horns towards him. Karkat did not pull back as he continued to press his fingers at the scars. He soon gave a snarl and noticed he was close enough to Kankri and took his chance.

He pushed his face down and sank his teeth into Kankri’s shoulder angrily, drawing blood with his sharp teeth. Kankri yelped out at this and pushed his own head back from it before Karkat pulled back out and glared angrily at him as the cherry red dripped from his mouth. Kankri pulled his head back down and frowned at Karkat. He grabbed onto his shoulders and forced him against the ground again.

“PULLING OUT SO SOON?” He sneered at him angrily and pressed against him as he neared to his face, stopping mere centimetre’s away from him, leaving his metallic breath that was tinged with blood to dance over his skin. “I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING *FUN!* He gave a chuckle and glared at him. Kankri frowned.

“Why d9 y9u s9und and l99k like y9u are talking t9 y9ur Kismesis?” Karkat was shocked at this and wasn’t prepared when he slammed his knee into his stomach and chuckled. He gave a gasping growl at the kick before snarling and slamming his knee into Kankri’s abdomen and pressing it there so he was pinned.

“THAT IS JUST SICK!” he sneered into his face, breathing over him again. “OF COURSE YOU WOULD THINK OF IT! YOU’RE SICK! IT WOULD BE LIKE ME HAVING A KISMESITUDE WITH PAST OR FUTURE ME!” Karkat pressed a hand to Kankri’s throat. “OR WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?” He gave a warning squeeze at his soft skin and tilted his head sideways a bit with a slightly crazed grin covering it. “TO BE MY KISMESIS? OF COURSE YOU WOULD LIKE THAT YOU SELF-CESTROUS SICK FUCK!” Kankri grunted and bared his teeth as he recoiled. Karkat snarled back at him. “COME ON! YOU AREN’T EVEN TRYING!” He slammed his knee harder into Kankri’s stomach as he gasped and shrunk away. “OR DO YOU LIKE *THIS?*” as he said the last word he jabbed his elbow into his ribs to emphasize his words. Kankri winced but kept still.

“Well, quiet and anticipating are tw9 different states, my y9ung Karkat…” He was a bit confused but yelled out as Kankri slammed his head upwards into his. Karkat growled and fell backwards a bit, loosening his grip on his stomach with his knee and retracting his hand from about his throat. His good hand rubbed at his head where it had been whacked with Kankri’s. Kankri, meanwhile, cringed at the pain he had receive from the impact and wriggled about to escape Karkat’s grasp, and failing I might say. Karkat pulled himself back, sitting on Kankri’s thighs.

“GET UP! YOU GOTTA FIGHT BETTER THAN THAT!” Kankri frowned and snarled.

“Well, h9w d9 y9u expect me t9 when I d9n’t kn9w h9w?” He gave a hiss to which Karkat frowned.

“DO WHAT COMES TO MIND FIRST!”

“What c9mes t9 mind first is anger and the urge t9 str9ngly advise a st9p.”

“:33 < KARKITTY!”

“FUCKING HELL!” Karkat was tackled from the side by Nepeta who then snuggled against him as he writhed about angrily to free himself.

“:33 < Karkitty? What efur catpunned to mew?” Karkat raised an eyebrow at her before understanding and shaking his head, refusing to answer. Kankri glared at Nepeta who didn’t seem to notice. “:33 < ok, what’s going on here then?” They both kept quiet and Nepeta frowned as she crossed her arms while still sitting on top of Karkat. Kankri gave in.

“Well, Nepeta Leij9n, uh… Karkat was just sh9wing me s9me 9f his fighting m9ves… he is a real vici9us 9ne.” He twitched at the sting of the scratches over his face. Karkat glared angrily at him. Nepeta gave a sigh and bounced off of Karkat noticing his annoyance, Kankri gazed about away from Karkat who snarled.

“HEY DOUCHEBAG! FOCUS ON THE FIGHT AT HAND!” Kankri faced Karkat with a frown before smirking and making a Kismesis sign, or the spade, <3<, with his hands. Karkat snarled and was about to leap at him when he dusted off his sweater quickly and walked off. “ARGH! FUCK YOU!” Karkat grabbed a large book from the shelf and threw it after him and it hit him square on the head to which he stumbled and paused a second before falling over onto the floor unconscious. Karkat grumbled, glancing about. Nepeta had bounded off somewhere else it seems. He pulled himself up and limped over to Kankri who lay on the golden bricked floor unconscious. He groaned and kicked at him; no response.

“UGH!” He sat down on the ground and waited.

_‘Why did you fight him?’_

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Karkat jumped up from the ground and looked about, no one was there.

 _‘I am in your head._ ’ Karkat paused and though before giving a groan.

“FUCKING HUMANS AND SHIT!”

‘ _Yeah, we are the humans and shit._ ’ Karkat gave a nod and sat back down on the ground. ‘again, why did you fight him?’ He sighed.

“I FUCKING FOUGHT HIM CAUSE HE NEEDS TO STAND UP FOR HIMSELF! HE IS AN ASS! STUPID CREAMPUFF THAT DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO PROTECT HIMSELF…”

‘ _Is there any other reasons?_ ’ Karkat growled.

“SHUT UP!”

 _‘We aren’t going anywhere any time soon.’_ Karkat grumbled and covered his face in his hands.

“FUCKING GET OUT OF MY STUPID HEAD YOU ASSES!”

“Wh9 is in y9ur head n9w?” Karkat peeked through his fingers and noticed Kankri had one eyes open and was looking at him. He shook his head.

 _‘Answer him, we want to talk to him actually.’_ Karkat groaned.

“OK! OK! FINE!” Kankri was a bit taken aback. “THE STUPID FUCKING HUMANS MANAGED TO GET INTO MY THOUGHTS AND BASICALLY THEY CAN SEE YOU, HEAR YOU AND ALL THAT  STUFF.” Kankri pulled himself upright with his shaking arms and sat looking at Karkat.

“W9w, really? What are they saying? Can I talk t9 them? I have never met an alien race 6ef9re!” Karkat grumbled.

‘ _He can’t talk to us, we need to talk through you to him.’_

“YES! YES! FINE! WHATEVER!” Kankri was a bit confused. “THEY WILL TALK THROUGH ME TO YOU.” Kankri nodded.

“9k, sh99t.”

_‘Oh, and, your dinner will be ready in thirty minutes.’_

“YES, THANK YOU FOR THAT BIT OF INFORMATION. JUST GIVE ME THE QUESTIONS TO ASK HIM ALREADY!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't... I don't think i can write... anymore... omg i feel terrible

**Author's Note:**

> Becuz Y Not? *inside joke*


End file.
